Holding up a mirror

Yet again I love the serendipity of chasing ideas and, as my friend describes it, joining the dots.  

• In the back of my mind the metaphor of coaching as being like holding up a mirror to someone. 
• earlier in the week a link to Bruce Britten's blog on Organisational Learning and paper engineering and the two quadrants of the model like the JoHari window 'We know what we don't know' and 'We don't know what we don't know'
• and today coming across the brilliant cartoon from Delta 7 on personal blindness. 

From managing burdens to resilience

Earlier this year I posted an article on managing burdens and managing energy. Since then I have come across more and more articles, and attended a conference on resilience run by the Association for Coaching in July. 

Resilience is one of the latest management and coaching buzz words. The logic behind this is essentially that if we cannot manage the causes of modern-day work stress how can we better prepare and protect ourselves so that we 'bounce back' after encountering it. 

The latest article to land in my mail box is from the Institute of Leadership and Management's monthly magazine Edge online, their Management Masterclass: Building Resilience.  It focuses on four areas:

• Give yourself time to adapt -'Building resilience doesn't just happen naturally. Individuals need to set aside time to reflect on their behaviour and actions and consider what changes they need to make.' 
• Focus on positive outcomes - Setbacks happen to everyone, what is important is how we manage these, learn from them, identifying and understanding one's strengths and moving on.  'Try to position the setback into the context of a forward-looking constructive story.'  Leaders are also responsible for supporting others through creating an environment where employees are able to recover  quickly from disappointment rather than go into decline. 
• Entrench your hardness quotidient -  leaders need to examine their mental toughness, which determines how well they respond to stress, pressure and challenges. 

Having just completed a two-day in-house workshop with colleagues - most of whom are struggling with the burdens of not enough time, too much pressure, changing goalposts and lack of personal recognition I was most struck by the final paragraph.  

• Establish your support networks:  Irrespective of your position, being resilient doesn't mean you have to do everything on your own. Know who to call upon for support and be prepared to seek their advice or guidance when it comes to the moment of truth. It is not a sign of weakness – the stronger your support network and the stronger your relationship with them, the more resilient you are likely to be. 

This to me is critical. I have been watching the dynamics of the workshops we have run in-house over the last year. One thing  that comes through repeatedly is the realisation by participants that much what they are experiencing ('suffering' is often the word used)  is systemic, and the support and advice that can be gained within the workshop from other colleagues.

And more on 'systemic' in future articles.

Interesting articles - Understanding regret and two ways to avoid it

Daniel Pink outlines two techniques for helping him to decided on a course of action when he is stuck:

• One he calls the “90-year-old me Test.” – where you imagine you are 90 and looking back at the decision before. What will I want to have done in this situation? In most cases, the 90-year-old me wants today’s me to take an intelligent risk rather than to avoid one — and to act nobly rather than like an ass.

• The other he calls the “Viktor Frankl Test.” In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl advises: “Live as if you were living for the second time and had acted as wrongly the first time as you are about to act now.”

Interesting articles - Leadership, and why small interactions matter

Why small interactions matter

This short HBR article based on an interview with Douglas Conant[1]  looks at how leaders can maximise the value of what may seem to be interruptions : meetings or the ‘I need just a minute’ converstations. 

These interruptions can become ‘touchpoints’

Touchpoints are defined as ‘ everyday encounters in which there's an issue, there's you, and there's another person or another group of people. They are not necessarily planned meetings.’

A research study (Gloria Mark, University of California) ‘found that most people only work for eleven minutes before someone interrupts them. And twice in those eleven minutes, they would interrupt themselves, like thinking, "Maybe I should check on this" or "Maybe I should check on that." So ……. on average, people have four minutes of uninterrupted time at a stretch to work on things. They're always looking for time to do their real work around that because the reality is, if it's four minutes today, it's going to be three and a half minutes tomorrow.’

He points out that ‘small everyday encounters define your impact on your organization and your reputation.’

The key in managing interruptions such that they become touchpoints is your own perspective of them. 

To do this takes good listening skills : listen intently to understand,  frame the isssue to confirm your understanding of it, and find a way to advance the issue, and a mindset of being interested in the person, and their issue, and how you can help. 

 ‘….  go into every interation with a mindset of how you can help.  So after you listen, frame and advance, as yourself  or the other person how that interaction went. Is there anything more you can do for him?  It’s that simple.’

He refers to the four A’s :  You need to be alert, abundant, authentic, and adaptable.  ‘Alert means you pay attention. Abundant means thinking in terms of possibilities, not limitations. To be authentic, you bring your whole self to these interactions. And being adaptable means bringing the necessary skill to the situation to be directive, consultative, or inspiring.’

He concludes the article by pointing out that while touchpoints is not a leadership model, a leadership model can improve the effectiveness of touchpoints.

Ultimately, people have to create their own way of walking in the world, but we think you have to work at that -- it doesn't just magically happen……….  Leadership does take work. And it should. If you aspire to be a leader, you ought to treat leadership as a craft, you ought to become a student of it, and you ought to work at it. And if you're not willing to work at it, well, you get what you give. I would assert that highly effective leaders are made more than they're born.’

---

[1] former CEO of the Campbell Soup Company and author of TouchPoints: Creating Powerful Leadership Connections in the Smallest of Moments

Why? - leading from the inside out

'People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And if you talk about what you believe, you will attract those who believe what you believe'.

Simon Sinek sets out how great leaders inspire action in his TED TALK.  How we inspire others comes from that inner place in us, what we believe in, what we are truly passionate about.  It is about inner authenticity.

Understanding and tapping into that inner passion regularly comes up in coaching.  

I believe It is at the heart of great coaching, when the coachee goes beyond simply improving skills and behaviours and understands and taps into what it is that fundamentally drives him or her.  It enables leaders to become great leaders, inspiring others to follow them, not because of what they say and the words they use, but because of why they are saying it and their own authenticity.  Without this inner 'why' many leaders and organisations find themselves in the all too common saying / doing gap, with lack of trust and follower dis-engagement.

As the the Overview of the GoodWork Project sets out:
People who work are not always aware of the forces that ultimately matter to them. While focusing on the “how” questions—how to get a job, how to keep the job, how to get ahead—many forget the “why” questions that they began with: Why take this path? Why aim to achieve this objective? Why behave in this way? It is the “why” questions that remind us of our truer aspirations and ambitions. Because everyone, everywhere, wants to live an admirable life, a life of consequence, because we all would like to pass “the tombstone test,” the “why” questions cannot be ignored for long without peril to one‟s personal stability and enduring success. It is like ignoring the rudder on a ship—no matter how much you look after all the other moving parts, you may end up lost at sea.

'We follow those who lead, not for them, but for ourselves. And it's those who start with 'why' that have the ability to inspire those around them or find others who inspire them'. 

Good leaders and good followers both need to be aware of their own 'why' questions.
As Mark Levy says 'meaning is where your power resides.'  Listen to his audio download 'The fascination factor' or reading his e-book on his web site Compelling

The Inner Game of Work

Timothy Gallwey, 2000

This book develops Gallwey ‘s tennis coaching model and applies this to the wider context of work. For Gallwey performance at work, as in sport, is undermined by potential interference.  

P = p – i    Performance = potential less interference. 

Performance can therefore be enhanced, either by growing “p” potential or by decreasing “i,” interference. The goal of the 'Inner Game' is to reduce whatever interferes with the discovery and expression of one’s full potential.

Gallwey’s underlying premise is that we have two ‘selves’.  
Self 2 is the human being itself, embodying all the inherent potential we were born with, including all the capabilities actualized and not yet actualized.  
Self 1 is the critical inner voice, the  ‘know-it-all who (does) not trust Self 2’ but who constantly advises, criticises and effectively undermines the innate abilities to perform that we all have. Self 1 is the influence of all the criticism we have been exposed to in the past, pushing us to adapt to the demands of the outside world. 

He outlines 3 interconnected principles involved in the process of learning to learn and personal change: Awareness - about knowing the present situation with clarity; Choice - about moving in a desired direction in the future; Trust- in one’s own inner resources. (ACT).

Starting points ....... and ends

The quote from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland is a good starting point for a coaching conversation.  

Covey in his book on the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People talks of 'Begin with the end in mind' - though I much prefer the Cheshire cat version.  Coaching conversations without a clear objective(s) becomes just a pleasant conversation. Where a client is completely stuck the first session may often become a session on working on clear objectives. 

Alice speaks to the Cheshire Cat

`Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'

 `That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.

`I don't much care where--' said Alice.

`Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.

`--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.

`Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, `if you only walk long enough